Gratitude at Uncertain Times

Two weeks ago, in our Torah portion, Jacob, fleeing from his brother who wants to kill him, from his father who is betrayed, and from his mother and the only home he ever knew, Jacob a homebody, is out in the desert, alone, heading on foot to a far-off place he’s never been.  Everything he has ever known is gone and he has no idea what lies ahead or if he will survive. He is in-between, and it is twilight, an in-between time.  

It is here, alone and away from everything families, that he lies down to sleep and dreams of his famous ladder.  When he awakes, he says,   

 “Surely the LORD is present in this place, and I did not know it!” Shaken, he said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the abode of God, and that is the gateway to heaven.” Early in the morning, Jacob took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on the top of it. He named that site Bethel….

Jacob, in a place of complete upheaval and profound alone-ness, somehow finds the heart to be grateful for the place he has found himself.   He is overjoyed to realize that even amid such chaos, God’s presence is always with him. 

In last week’s portion, Vayeshev, Jacob, in another state of upheaval, another place between, Jacob decides that they all should finally return to the same spot to give thanks.  He daughter was just assaulted, his sons went murderously rogue, and his choice is to go to this place where he had his dream to give thanks. 

We read that he, “set up a pillar at the site where He had spoken to him, a pillar of stone, and he offered a libation on it and poured oil upon it.”

He doesn’t yet know that his beloved wife Rachel will die in childbirth very soon, or that in this week’s Torah portion, her son Joseph, Jacob’s favorite, would be lost, and as far as Jacob knows, killed. 

We have much to learn from Jacob, Israel, who could be in such upheaval and crisis, and still decide to stop and give thanks, and not only say the words, but create a pilgrimage and a ritual and to make offerings of gratitude.

We have much to learn from Jacob. We are also Yisrael. We also wrestle with God, with life, with upheaval and tragedy. We are also in ‘in-between’ spaces. This entire pandemic is such a place, and all the extremism, polarization, and vitriol around us, the changes in our society in just a few years, these make us feel like we don’t know where we are or what lies ahead. 

There are many such places of in-betweenness:  losing a spouse, or a child; sudden diagnoses with life-threatening illnesses; losing a job or letting go of a career that had shaped your life; having a loved one develop a serious mental illness. 

In those places it is very hard to remember to give thanks, much less find the energy and bandwidth to make a pilgrimage and create a ritual of thanksgiving.

In those places, it is very hard to remember that God is with us.

In these places, Jacob and Judaism have much to offer.

One of the most central practices in Judaism is stopping to give thanks. 

The Talmud suggests we make 100 blessings a day.

One of the key purposes of prayer is not to ask for things, but to give thanks, as individuals but also as a community.  This prayer service is a ritual of thanksgiving and coming to temple is its own sort of pilgrimage to Beth El, the House of God.

Yet, Judaism doesn’t require us to come to synagogue to enter a House of God.  Each of our homes is such a house, each of our homes is a sanctuary, and it is marked as such by mezuzahs on our doors.  The shin on the mezuzah is for Shadai, the same name God uses when he blesses Jacob, saying

You whose name is Jacob,

You shall be called Jacob no more,

But Israel shall be your name.”

And God said to him,“I am El Shaddai.

When traditional Jews enter a home, they pause to place their fingers on the mezuzah to be mindful they are entering a sacred place, and that God dwells there.

This is a beautiful practice, as are the morning blessings for each step in getting up.  Something as simple as standing up is cause for a blessing; something as mundane as going to the bathroom is cause for gratitude.

One of the key ways Judaism can make our lives better is by giving us habits of gratitude, simple daily acts that remind us the life is a miracle, even when it is difficult, even when it feels tragic and overwhelming. However, it is we who must choose to make those blessings.

I want to encourage you to seriously consider upping your blessings-game. Do more of them.  

·      Pause every day when you come home from work to offer gratitude for having a home by touching your mezuzah.

·      Learn the Hebrew blessing for seeing something of beauty:  Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech Ha-olam, she-chacha lo ba’olamo.  Blessed are you that such things exist in the world!

·      When you have those times when you are feeling bad about yourself or beating yourself up, try to accept yourself as you are by saying, “Baruch ata Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, she-asani kirtzono.”  Blessed are You, who has made me according to Your will.”

Judaism has blessings for everything, as I’ve said, but there is more we can learn from Jacob that Judaism isn’t always so good at – creating your own spontaneous rituals of thanksgiving.  Jacob’s example of simply standing up a stone and pouring oil over it is one we might start with. 

In this time of upheaval and uncertainty, let’s do better at being b’nei Yisrael, the descendants of Israel, by pausing regularly to give thanks, by making pilgrimages to places that remind us of who we are and how far we have come, and by making our own rituals and blessings of thanksgiving to remind us that God is in every place.  Oh, and by coming to services at Temple Sinai. 

Thank you and Shabbat Shalom.